


A Heart Of Gold In The Smaller Size

by hazelandglasz



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Sex Shop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 16:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7899895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelandglasz/pseuds/hazelandglasz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous asked : sex shop au with Klaine? Because that would be so hilariously awkward</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Heart Of Gold In The Smaller Size

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Mika's song Boy Toy ;)

It’s not the weirdest job Blaine could have found, all things considered.

… Okay, it is pretty weird, but still, manning the counter of an … adult entertainment store is not that bad.

… Okay, sometimes, it gets pretty bad, but 80% of the time, it’s just like any other retail job.

He smiles at every patron, doesn’t even pay attention to what exactly they are purchasing, rings them, asks them if they want a discreet bag or if they would like a tote bag with the name of the store on it (“Dildopolis”, really), smiles again and wishes them a pleasant day.

And that’s it.

Nothing weird about that, right?

Blaine is all for everyone having a healthy sexlife, however they choose to have it, and their book selection offers a wide (well, as wide as available, and no, that’s not “what she said”) selection of books on consent, and proper etiquette.

And on how to properly take care of the different toys, too.

Speaking of which …

As stated previously, Blaine’s job is pretty common 80% of the time.

But he has a feeling that the guy who just entered the shop and skipped to the vibrators selection belongs in the 20% of definitely, seriously, what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you customers that grace the store by their very presence.

First of all, there is the outfit.

Too big, for one, like the man is trying to look …  [ gangsta  ](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b3/22/84/b32284de3e7cb13d1c3d8678777741ce.jpg) or something, and the sunglasses while inside are a huge blip on Blaine’s creepometer.

Second of all, there is the … attitude.

The man looks at the different toys, browsing up the sizes, turns a violent shade of red before returning to the smaller ones all while biting his lower lip.

Okay, so maybe Blaine has been very attentive to this particular customer, because …

Well, because he knows how it can be when you go to a sexshop for the first time.

Mister Trying to look discrete and failing is cute, okay, Blaine has eyes and he is not afraid to use them.

Slightly creepy, but cute.

Leaving the counter--it’s only the two of them in the store, it’s 1.30pm on a Tuesday after all--, Blaine busies himself with replacing scattered toys and cleaning up the shelf of water-based lubricants, and steadily getting closer to his customer.

“May I help you find the item you’re looking for?” he asks with a bright smile, tweaking his  [ bow tie ](https://img1.etsystatic.com/105/0/10773756/il_570xN.1015320249_m5nc.jpg) for reassurement.

He did not expect the man to jump and shout.

Or for the sunglasses to fall to the ground at his feet in the process.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he rushes to say, bending over to retrieve the glasses before cleaning them on his apron that Dani insisted on to return them dust-free to their owner. “I didn’t mean to startle--”

_ Oh my, what big eyes you have _ .

“--you.”

The man takes the glasses and folds them in his pocket. “It’s--it’s alright, I didn’t …” He pauses and rubs the back of his neck, a new coat of blush covering his cheeks. “You did startle me.”

“It’s quite alright,” Blaine says reassuringly, more and more fascinated by this oddly shy customer.

“Can you help me?”the man says in one breath. “This is all … um, very new to me.”

“Sure!” Blaine says, holding up his hand because his mama raised him right. “I’m Blaine.”

“Kurt,” the man replies, shaking his hand.

“What were you looking for, exactly?” Blaine says, rubbing his hands with unfiltered glee. “We have vibrating toys, dildos, anal beads, plugs …”

His voice trails off to nothingness as he sees Kurt’s blush intensifying with every item he lists.

“Kurt?”

“I … oh this was a mistake,” Kurt stammers. “It’s not your fault, Blaine, you’ve been a very … thanks, bye!”

Without letting Blaine the time to answer, Kurt rushes out, and Blaine sighs before returning at the counter.

The following day, a Yelp review signed K.E.H. commending his welcoming behavior makes him smile.

\---

A week later, Blaine is groaning at the top of the ladder, trying to attach the banner for Halloween (“Nothing Scarier Than STDs”, his idea) above the condoms aisle when he hears the door opening.

It’s the middle of the day once again, and Blaine would go and welcome the customer, but he’s fighting with this damn banner, and why is that ladder so short?

It’s the ladder who is vertically challenged, not him, dammit.

“Excuse me?”

Blaine looks under his raised arm and smiles when he sees Kurt.

Well, he thinks it’s Kurt, because of the eyes and the voice.

Now that’s an outfit Blaine is not about to forget about.

“Kurt,” he says before huffing a breath. “I’ll be with you in a minute, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course not,” Kurt says nonchalantly. “Take your time, I wouldn’t want you to hurt your b--yourself.”

Blaine nods gratefully, before returning his attention to the banner’s knots.

He can hear Kurt walking back to the toy section, and a quick glance shows only a faint blush on the back of his neck.

Though it might not be because of the items--the second time Blaine looks in Kurt’s direction, his eyes are decisively not on the shelves, but on Blaine’s.

And not on his face either.

Oh, Blaine is used to getting ogled at from time to time, especially in his line of work. But it’s probably the first time--no, the second time, there was Jeremiah, but he agreed with himself to never speak of it again--that he doesn’t mind the ogling of his backside.

“So you’re back,” he says with a gentle smile as he approaches Kurt who has returned his eyes and his focus to the toys. 

“Yes,” Kurt replies determinedly. “I really want to purchase one of those, but I’m a bit lost …”

“It’s natural,” Blaine says, as professional as ever. “We do offer a rather large selection, and for a first-timer, it can be … daunting.”

Kurt’s eyes are slightly wider than they were a second before, and Blaine internally winces as he realizes all the puns he made involuntarily.

Well, in for a penny …

“But I’ll help you, I can be very gentle in my advice.”

Kurt barks a short laugh before covering his mouth. “That last one was totally on purpose,” he says, laughter ringing in his voice when he gathers himself.

“I confess,” Blaine says with a smile, bowing his head a little before straightening up. “More seriously, I can help you to pick the best you to start … pleasuring yourself,” he continues, feeling slightly hot under his collar at the picture he just painted in his mind.

Kurt, on a bed--that looks suspiciously like Blaine’s--, without his clothes, using his personal  [ favorite  ](https://adamstoybox.com/collections/anal-plugs/products/remote-cock-butt-plug?variant=15262193028) …

Or maybe Kurt would prefer a fleshlight, reveling in the idea of being a top …

Or both, why be cheap and limitating?!

_ Oh God,  _ I’m _ the creepy guy in the sexshop _ .

“Blaine?”

“Yes! Sorry, got lost in thoughts,” he apologizes, before taking Kurt’s hand to take him to the plug kits.

Might as well start somewhere.

“I’m sure,” Kurt murmurs, and Blaine clears his throat before presenting him the different kits.

\---

Ten days later, Blaine is daydreaming at the counter, eyes on the clock on the opposite wall, counting the minutes before he gets to close, when the door opens slowly.

“Blaine? Psst?”

Blaine startles back to the present--though the prospect of going home, catching up on Agent Carter with some Irish coffee and cookies before going to his bed, touching himself in any way might tickle his fancy when the moment comes, and then dinner, is a very tempting one to get lost in--and leans over the counter.

“Kurt!”

Kurt smiles at him before pushing the door fully opened and standing by the counter, one arm elegantly folded over it. “How have you been?”

“I’m good,” Blaine replies, crossing his arms over the counter and close to Kurt.

Close enough, in fact, that he could touch the soft material of his cardigan if he so wished to. “It’s a bit slow, lately, but I’m about to close, so yay for going home. What about you?” he asks, cocking his head to the side. “Did you need something?” In spite of himself, a slow, teasing smile spreads on his lips. “A Christmas present for someone, perhaps? Or for yourself,” he adds, almost to himself.

Kurt’s cheeks turn a lovely pink, but it’s not the bright red of his first time here. “Actually, I was in the neighborhood and I thought you might like a warm drink.”

“And you’re hiding said warm beverage somewhere in that tight outfit?”

“No, smartass,” Kurt says, lightly swatting Blaine’s arm though he smiles as he says it, “I was going to invite you for coffee.”

Blaine can feel his face warming up. “Oh?”

“That is, if you’re free, and that it’s something that could, I mean, interest? You? I mean,” Kurt sighs, “if I could interest you--no!”

“No?”

It’s not the nicest reaction, but Blaine is enjoying this very much.

“I mean,” Kurt nearly shouts, “if you could be interested in enjoying a warm drink with me?”

Blaine looks at the clock--for ten minutes, Dani will not hold it against him--and walks around the counter.

“You’re showing me the door now, aren’t you?” Kurt bemoans, a small frown appearing on his face. “I’m sorry I tried something while you’re working, I know it’s very poor manners, but I didn’t want to stalk you to find a moment to talk to you out of work, and--”

“I’d love that.”

“--uh?”

Blaine buttons up his coat and smiles at Kurt. “I’d love to enjoy a warm drink with you,” he says, holding up his gloved hand for Kurt to take. “And maybe, if all goes well during this date--”

“Date?”

“--yes, I will give you my number so you don’t have to stalk me to proposition me for another one.”

Kurt’s smile is blinding. “Sounds very reasonable,” he says, taking Blaine’s hand in his own. “A bit more old-fashioned than I thought for an employee in a sexshop, though.”

“That’s me,” Blaine says with a laugh as he closes the door, “old fashioned and knowledgeable about sex toys, lubricants and condoms.”

“A dirty Bill Nye,” Kurt comments, the cold making his cheeks pinken.

“Exactly.”

“Good to know.”

(For their first Valentine’s, a couple of months later, Blaine finds just the right  [ gift basket ](http://naturalchildworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Screen-Shot-2014-05-13-at-4.55.59-PM.png) .)

**Author's Note:**

> If you have a prompt for me, come to visit my tumblr, hazelandglasz.tumblr.com ;)


End file.
